The "point" is...

I weighed myself this morning (I know, my husband was supposed to hide the scale. It hasn't happened yet) and it was not pretty.

168.6 pounds. I haven't seen that high of a number since February. Granted I'm sure there is still some bloat in there from TOM. And I had pizza last night so I'm sure there is some sodium in there. But the fact that last month when I weighed in at 157.6 pounds and now I'm 11 pounds heavier? I'm pissed at myself. Really, REALLY pissed at myself.

All the running the world is not going to save me from myself when I start thinking about all the hard work I put into this.

And I'm burnt out on running this week. I ran a lot and I needed a day off today. So I took one. And I know I shouldn't have weighed myself, but in the long run, it's a good thing I did it. Because I need a wake up call. A wake up call to stop messing around and get back to doing what I know is the right way to treat my body.

Vacation is just about over. So no more eating crap. No more pizza. No more french fries. No more ice cream. No more cookies or donuts or anything I know I shouldn't be eating. No more alcohol or soda. SODA! Something I gave up a year ago and it sort of came back into my life the past month or so. Not to the point where I am drinking it on a daily basis, but enough where I feel like I need to give it up again.

I'm glad I caught myself when I did and it's so scary that things can get so out of control so fast. I wish I could be someone who didn't have to worry about her weight and eat whatever she wanted. But I'm not. I have to watch everything. I have the worst metabolism in the world and as much as it sucks, I know I can treat myself now and again and it won't matter. As long as I get back on track the next day.

That being sad, I'm going back to points. Counting them that is. It's what I started doing to lose the weight and I'm going back. And I'm going to start eating clean again, too. I at least want to get back to 158 and stay there. Of course, I want to see 150 pounds. It's my goal weight, but my happy place is under 160 pounds.

And I've decided to start using my gym membership. I do have one and I should use it since I pay for it on a monthly basis. So starting Monday it's back to the gym for me to tone up my flabby parts. I'm sick of feeling sorry for myself and I want to reach my goal!!

I'm going back to weighing myself on a weekly basis, too.

Plus I've got that wedding to go to in three weeks...

Friday, Friday...

I've had a great vacation.

I've relaxed and enjoyed myself.

I've done a lot of running.

And I've enjoyed myself when it came to eating. With no guilt. I relaxed enough for a couple days to realize I'm on vacation and it's okay to do that. I did it last year when we went camping in July and again when we went to Vegas and Arizona in September.

I wore a bathing suit in public for the first time in years.

I tried on (and bought) a medium pencil skirt from Forever 21. I bought it at a Consignment shop and it only cost me 8 bucks.

All that being said, I am going to be destructing my diet. It's time I try something "different" and "new" to give me a little push. I've been going up and down since February between 163 and 158. And I want to be under 158. So I'm over it and ready to move on. I have a plan in mind and it seems like it a good one.

Monday night I hit the grocery store to stock up and Tuesday it begins. Only because the hubby gets paid on Monday so we can go stock up on food.

Oh and I also picked up the American Idol concert tickets I won from the local country station here in Connecticut. I still can't believe I won!!

Hate that my vacation is ending (2 days left) but it will be nice to get back to my normal routine.

A day at the beach

I can't actually believe I let me husband take pictures of me in a bathing suit. Holy moly! Ha! We had a blast and I didn't get too much sun. A few places were missed when it came to the lotion, but it's all good. I fell asleep for about an hour on the blanket and I guess my top was up a bit because my stomach saw sun for the first time in YEARS!! I last wore a bikini when I was like 2. That is a Chobani yogurt in the second picture. Yummy!!

I asked my husband on the way home from the beach to please take my scale away for awhile. I haven't been too honest and I've been weighing myself too much. I wanted to put my foot through it today. And that is not like me. I've worked too hard to let the numbers bother me now.

If I want to indulge a little bit this evening because I am on vacation, I should be allowed to. One evening isn't going to kill me.

And I have my period (sorry boys). So there is that. And I have run 22 miles since Saturday so I know I shouldn't be up weight wise without there being a reason. (TOM).

I am going to sleep well tonight. The sun was so warm.

Have you seen my sunglasses?

I know, I can't believe it either. I haven't post much in a very a couple weeks and now I'm updating twice in one day? I hope you didn't hurt yourself when you fainted. Because I didn't intend for that to happen.

I'm packing everything up for the beach tomorrow and I can't explain how excited I am. I haven't been to the beach since 2006 and I was around 210 pounds at that time. Fitting into (tight) size 16's and hating every minute of it. I had to buy a bathing suit for the trip and hated that, too. I hated having to spend the money because I had 2 perfectly good bathing suits that I loved but there was no way I could fit into them. Hard to believe it would take me 7 years to do so. I got a horrible sunburn on this trip in 2006. I couldn't leave the couch for 2 days. I could hardly walk. I was so burnt. And I was only in the sun for 2 hours. So we made sure to pack the sunscreen this time.

Anyway, we took a trip to Target today to pick a few beach necessities and I stumbled across a pair of shorts that are made for the reason I need them. They are PERFECT to cover up my troublesome thighs and I don't have to wear my running skirt as a bottom. They actually have a bathing suit bottom in them, but are shorts. I love them. And they go perfect with my top. So I am all set for tomorrow. I told my husband that next year, I am going to wear a bikini. That is right. A bikini. So now that I put that in print, it's got to happen, right?

Except I can't find my sunglasses. That is annoying me. I might have to stop and pick up a pair on the way there. How can I relax in the sun without my sunglasses? If you see them, let me know.

Is this thing on?

So right. I have a blog and I should be updating it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I have been a bad blogger over the past few weeks. I just haven't felt like I had anything to blog about. And I know that sometimes, when people stop updating their blogs, others think that they might have fallen off the wagon or whatever.

But I didn't.

I'm still around and running and eating well. I actually, finally, started my free weight program today. I am sick of the muffin top and the bat wings and I just need to tone up. I know it will make a hell of difference in my clothes and I need to do it. So after my 4 mile run, I did 20 minutes of weights. It's not a lot, but it is something.

I still want to join CrosssFit, but it's not going to happen right now. It's a lot of money ($179 a month if I don't sign a contract) and right now the hubby and I want to save our money for other things. So, maybe in the future, I can do that. We'll see.

Hubby and I are on vacation this week. We aren't doing anything huge, just some day trips. Saturday night I kicked it off the first full day of vacation by going to see Keith Urban for the 4th time with my sister. It was, of course, amazing. I could probably see Keith 4 million times and never get sick of him. He played for 2 and a half hours!! It was fantastic!! Sunday hubby and I had a late breakfast out and finally bought ourselves a new television. Our flat screen died a couple weeks ago and it kind of sucked watching everything on a 13 inch screen. Really.

Last night we went to the drive in. It's been 10 year since we did that. We saw "Horrible Bosses" and "Bad Teacher". Both were funny but I enjoyed "Bad Teacher" the best. I think it was Cameron Diaz that did it for me. She was really good in that movie. Although "Horrible Bosses" had it's moments.

Tomorrow we're going to the beach! I'm a little nervous about bathing suit situation. I actually decided to wear my running skirt as my button. Why? I hate my thighs and no bottom makes me feel comfortable enough. I have some serious cellulite issues.

It's been really humid here. My runs have been soaked with sweat and today I had stop around mile 3 to refresh on some Powerade for a bit. It's brutal. But I did 5 miles on Saturday and Sunday and that felt great. I've slowed my pace down a little and that has helped me a lot.

I leave you with this picture I took at Target in a size 8 skirt. I didn't buy it, but sometimes it's just fun to try stuff on. I do that a lot:

Cough, Ahem...

I haven't fallen off the face of the earth or the wagon or anything like that. I have just been busy and sort of put the blogging on the back burner for a little. I promise an update within the next couple of days. Nothing major is going on, but I need to start updating more often. It's the whole point of having a blog, isn't it?